All posts by Stanzo

Rutgers alum & avid Yankee fan. Painfully addicted to Twitter. I tell terrible jokes 95% of the time, the other 5% are probably above average.

Storylines For All Nine of the Yankees’ Opponents This Season

Boston Red Sox: Will the Rivalry Be Renewed in 2020?

After the Sox handled the Yankees in the 2018 ALDS, they were a completely different team in 2019. A combination of injuries and an ineffective pitching staff led to the Sox winning 24 less games than they did the year before, as the Yankees coasted to a 14-5 regular season record against them. After trading Mookie Betts and David Price and losing ace Chris Sale to Tommy John surgery, will this year’s group be able to bring back some firepower to the rivalry?

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It’s Time to Let the Steroid Guys in the Hall of Fame

So not everyone loved Long Gone Summer on Sunday night, and I get the criticism. It was disproportionately focused on McGwire instead of Sosa, and kind of glossed over the fact that they were both on steroids. However, I enjoyed it for two reasons. One, the doc wasn’t really supposed to be about the steroid usage or the implications of it. It was supposed to be 120 minutes of dingers, and that’s exactly what they gave us. And two, it’s pretty impossible to make a documentary about the 1998 MLB season and have it not be entertaining. Steroid era baseball content is like pizza, even the bad kinds are still pretty damn good.

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Columbus’ Biggest Accomplishments

I’ve been seeing Columbus trending on Twitter recently, and I don’t know why. Sure, it’s a nice city, I’ve been there to visit my brother at Ohio State. It’s also the 14th most populated city in the U.S., which might be a bigger surprise than the fact that stoplights absolute units.

Nevertheless, I figured I would take this opportunity to list out some of Columbus’ biggest accomplishments.

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Any Yankee Fan That Uses Racial Slurs Deserves to Get Their Ass Beat

There’s absolutely no place for this anywhere, let alone at a baseball game. Yankee fans pride ourselves on making the Stadium a hostile environment for opponents to play, especially in big games. It gets insanely loud, and fans heckle away players. Here’s what Twins’ pitcher Tyler Duffey said after his team came into the Bronx for the ALDS last year.

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Ron Harper Jr Dares Duke to Enter the Trapezoid of Terror

Let’s go Ron! Coach K and Duke have the most insufferable college basketball program in the country. The way they carry themselves is just so unbelievably douchey. Remember when he missed games due to an elective back surgery in 2017 and they left his seat open on the bench as if he fucking died?

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The Epidemiologists Who Said They Wouldn’t Attend a Sporting Event For “At Least a Year” Are Straight Up NERDS

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The Three Funniest Movie Duos of the 21st Century

Saw this tweet last night and thought it was staggeringly wrong. I love Jennifer Aniston just as much as anyone, especially considering that she wore a Knicks sweatshirt on Friends.

Champion New York Knicks Sweater in Grey worn by Rachel Green ...

Jen is an all-time great. That being said, I’m not gonna pretend her and Adam Sandler are even in consideration for “best movie duo.” Sure, Just Go With It is solid, but there are literally dozens of other movie duos that are much more entertaining.

I thought about it, and I narrowed it down to the top three movie duos of the last 15 years. And by best I mean funniest because this is my blog and I get to make the rules.

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Yankees/Mets All-Time Crossover Lineup

If our country wasn’t currently imploding, we would be about two months into baseball season at this point. Instead of watching people argue on Twitter about coronavirus, racism, or the upcoming election, it should be ME getting into Twitter fights. I’d be defending Gary Sanchez to Yankee fans trying to trade him after a three strikeout game, or battling an Astros fan who still tries to claim “everyone was cheating.” Maybe I’d even be having a nice argument with a Mets fan about how Aaron Judge is clearly better than Pete Alonso, while still admitting that Jacob deGrom is the superior pitcher to Gerrit Cole.

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Get Me in a Room With the Owners, I’m Making Baseball Happen

Pardon my French, but what in the shit is happening right now? I literally wrote a blog yesterday about how it was the most optimistic I’ve been that we get baseball in 2020. Well, today is the least optimistic I’ve been. I changed my mind faster than sorority girls going from best friends to sworn enemies; but Becky did fuck Brad from Sigma Apple Pi when she KNEW Taylor called dibs on him, so I get why that happened. What I don’t get is how the owners aren’t realizing they would be killing their league if they don’t play this year. The choices are literally either play this year, take a hit on your bottom line and increase the game’s popularity moving forward. Or don’t play this year, be the only major sport in America to not come back after a pandemic because you couldn’t agree on money and completely cripple the future of your league. Let me put it in restaurant terms because the best metaphors always involve food:

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Anyone Calling the Players ‘Greedy’ Isn’t Paying Attention

As a huge baseball fan that’s been completely tuned into whether we’ll have a season or not since the day spring training was suspended, this is the most optimistic I’ve felt in awhile.

The players aren’t going to accept that, but at least we’re at the point of talking full pro-rated salaries now. Owners countering the players’ 114 game offer with 50 games makes it look increasingly likely that both sides meet right in the middle at 82. These negotiations have been relatively ugly, but as long as we get baseball who cares. One thing I can’t stand for, however, is people blaming this hold up on the players.

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