The Epidemiologists Who Said They Wouldn’t Attend a Sporting Event For “At Least a Year” Are Straight Up NERDS


I have the utmost respect for nerds. I get that they’re smarter than me, and will make way more money than me. Full disclosure, I had to look up the definition of “epidemiologist” because I wasn’t sure what kind of doctor that was. That all being said, these nerds need to shut the hell up and let fans come back to sporting events.

Once I started reading the list, I realized how patently ridiculous some of these people were being. Only 64% of these people are bringing in their mail this summer without giving it a Lysol bath first, some of them are never getting a haircut ever again, and others are never allowing their children to go on a play date ever again. Being a huge nerd and having your kid never leave the house is a one-way ticket for having said kid turn out as much of a weirdo as you are. I mean seriously, I know I made the featured pic on this blog Craig & Eric from Drake & Josh, but these people might be even bigger nerds than that. They’re on Clayton’s level.

Clayton | Drake and Josh Wiki | Fandom

But back to the topic at hand. You’re telling me 64% of these people aren’t going to a sporting event or concert until at least halfway through 2021, and 1% are never going ever again? Buddy, take a look outside. Beaches have been packed, there’s thousands of protestors in the streets of cities across the country, restaurants are open or opening soon in most places, and you’re thinking nah, gotta quarantine for 12 more months? These are the kind of people who sit in and play Scrabble and binge watch Big Bang Theory on Saturday nights anyway. They probably wouldn’t even have any idea quarantine was a thing if it wasn’t their job to know.

Thank goodness I’m just a blogger and not an epidemiologist because if this was up to me, I’m letting fans back at sporting events ASAP. Throw me in the middle of the Yankee Stadium bleachers with a bunch of drunk assholes sweating and spilling beer everywhere, I don’t care. And I’m not trying to say corona isn’t a legitimate threat, I’m just losing my sanity without sports. It’s a risk I’m willing to take at this point. I’ll even take it one step further:

Okay I don’t expect everyone to be on that level, but you get my point. I would do almost anything to be at a Yankee game right now. It’s already been nearly nine months since I’ve been there, and the way MLB’s negotiations are going it looks like it might be another nine. And how about this little nugget of information that came out the other day?

Umm excuse me? Isn’t that the entire reason for lockdown? All I know is these so-called “experts” are the same ones who said in January that it couldn’t spread person-to-person, which was obviously wrong. The CDC originally said that the virus could live on surfaces up to three days, then recently said whoops just kidding, it probably doesn’t spread on surfaces. Nobody has any shred of a clue what’s going on. All I’m asking from these people is to not take sporting events away from me. Governor Murphy said there’s a “possibility” that fans will be at Giants & Jets home games this fall, which if nothing else is a step in the right direction.

So please, nerds. Don’t take sports away from us.

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