I’m sure I’m not the only one to ever have weird dreams. Whatever happens in our dreams, often stays in our heads. But not here at BTB Sports…here we break boundaries…here we even come up with material while we sleep…here we take you inside the minds of bloggers.
So here I am, with a group of friends, one of them being my actual friend in real life and the other being some person who I have never seen before, and we have this great (horrific) idea to start a band/singing group.
As dreams and only dreams can do, this idea takes off immediately, with no planning and certainly no talent, we aimed to make it big.
We affectionately named ourselves “The Watered Down Big Three” for some inexplicable reason and went on our way to making music. The problem was, none of us knew how to 1) write songs 2) play instruments or 3) sing well, so we improvised by buying an expensive speaker system and a bunch of CDs that had famous songs, but without the words so we can sing them and practice.
As time went on (roughly 1.8 seconds in dream time), we took off. Our talentless and musicless group miraculously found ourselves with a MASSIVE fan base without even releasing one song. And before we knew it, we had our first booking at what seemed to be a fancy Outback Steakhouse with a stage and it’s own boardwalk. I don’t know, it was wild. And we were PUMPED.
To our delight and surprise, THOUSANDS of people showed up and piled into this weird and poorly-branded restaurant/possible steakhouse to watch these three awful performers sing songs that they hadn’t even made yet. I guess my mind was trying to tell me people will spend money on literally anything if food is involved.
So with us being the main event of the night, we plopped our really, really expensive speaker right on stage and got out our CDs, and then realized something…we knew literally zero songs.
Since the songs on the CDs just had music and no words we couldn’t even fake it because none of us knew the songs that well to begin with. Like we knew the popular parts only. Disaster strikes immediately.
So we got on stage, with again THOUSANDS of fans looking at us, people in the restaurant peeking over shoulders and booths to get a peek at the rising stars…at us. And we stand there, with some microphones in our hand…
In absolute silence.
Nobody in the band said a word in real time for about three minutes before I finally said “Alright, let’s start this thing” trying to get the crowd riled up, but they weren’t buying it. Our gig was up.
So we turn on the CDs because that was literally all we had and we start singing “Wagon Wheel” by Darius Rucker in complete disharmony. Every note was off-pitch, we were saying lyrics at different times, and the singing was absolutely horrible, the worst part of the whole show.
The crowd looked on in disbelief and before you know it, everybody had a meal and was looking down at their food to avoid eye contact with us while we were parading around in circles trying to learn how to sing.
So we call a timeout or intermission or whatever and we walk off into the boardwalk that is conveniently behind the stage and discuss a game plan for what to do while thousands of people wait inside. It’s literally like Superbad but instead of getting alcohol to a party we’re live performing nothing.
Like geniuses, we conjure up some idea to do the exact same thing we were doing before, except we sing the song “Four-Five Seconds” with Kanye and Rihanna. We go absolutely IN, like hardcore. We’re dropping to our knees, singing our balls off, and we still are terrible.
Soon enough, we recognize our own failure, call it a night, walk off the stage into the sunset to mostly silence with some boos tastefully sprinkled in.
After that, we got together again on the boardwalk (not sure how we got there if you can only get there through the restaurant), and agreed to called it quits since none of us had any musical abilities nor could we remember any lyrics to any songs.
Just as soon as it came, it ended…”The Watered Down Big Three” was no more.
LESSON LEARNED: People always say “Follow your dreams”. Yeah, well…don’t.