Why LaMelo Ball is Better than LeBron Was at His Age

Just when you think maybe you can go a few days without the Ball family making headlines, they come right back at you with highlights of a 50-point loss by LaMelo’s AAU team, coached by LaVar.



First off, LaMelo is nowhere near as good as LeBron was in high school. Not in the same fucking stratosphere of ability. This title is what we in the college-kids-home-for-the-summer blog business call clickbait, my friends.


Anyway, back to the youngest of Bitchass LaVar Ball’s offspring. LaMelo  became the most famous high school player in the country this year following his 92-point game in February. You’ve at least heard of this if you don’t live under a rock, but maybe you didn’t take the time to watch the 15-minute long highlight video. I watched the whole thing because when you’re in a college lecture listening to some foreign guy try and tell you bullshit about the economy 100 years ago, you’ll watch just about anything. Here it is, go ahead and watch. You probably have the time to, because you’re probably bored as hell, because why the fuck else would you be reading our dumbass blog?

You don’t have to be Mike Krzyzewski to understand what happened here. These are the least impressive 92 points I’ve ever seen. If LaMelo Ball was in 2K MyPlayer mode, he would end up with an F at the end of the game because he’d keep losing points for “didn’t get back on defense.” Not only that, but the kids on the other team don’t play defense even when they are back in time. It literally looks like when you’re playing basketball against your little cousin who’s a foot and a half shorter than you and you let him get a shot off because he’s like 10 (I’m stuffing the shit out of him next time after seeing this video. I’ll be damned if we encourage another participation trophy generation.)

Also, LaMelo took 22 threes and made only 7. He was 37-61 total from the field. 92 points on 61 shots, most of which were wide open due to the fact he was cherrypicking and going against a team that played defense worse than the washing machine the Tropics traded for Monix? Not exactly LeBron 2.0. Then this video surfaced this weekend after Ball’s AAU team got wiped by 50 points at the hands of the Compton Magic.

Kid looked lost out there. Couldn’t get any kind of separation or hit jump shots, and just looked physically overmatched. As bad as that was, I will say this. He’s a young kid. He is 15 years old. He’ll get bigger and stronger. Lonzo is 6’6, LaMelo is only 6’3. I honestly feel really bad for him because when LeBron was getting a ton of press in high school, it was all earned based off his ability. Sure, LaMelo can play a little, but a lot of his attention comes from how good his older brother is and having a Dad who gasses him up more than a sorority girl talking about her little.

So, LaMelo, I feel for you. As for everyone else, let’s leave the kid alone and let him develop his game before we see how he turns out at UCLA in a few years.

(P.S.- if I ever see anyone in a “Stay In Yo Lane” Big Baller Brand shirt, I might punch them in the face. I think I’d rather walk around in a shirt that has “I Am a Virgin” written across the front.)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s