Aw yeah baby, the blog we’ve all been waiting for. This is the kind of topic most sports blogs don’t touch, too juicy. But not me, I’m coming at you 130 mph with the cold hard facts. This shit just solidified my spot for Pulitzer Prize consideration, I’m not even bragging. That’s right, tonight live and in action on the 1 and 2’s we’ve got America’s sweetheart, Joe Girardi. Before we jump into the details I’d like to start off by saying that I think Girardi is pretty ass at managing. For as stacked as the Yankees are, Girardi makes absolute common sense decisions look as challenging as robbing a casino in one night via card counting (shoutout Rainman shoutout Allen from the Hangover). This man puts Tommy Layne in so much you’d think the guy is the second coming for Christ/Mariano <-(these two names are synonyms btw). I will raise my children to hate Joe Girardi, and they’ll be better men for it, but I digress. There’s one thing that I absolutely love about this dipshit. My man absolutely muuuuuuuuuuurks getting thrown out of baseball games. I low key supported his 4 year contract extension strictly off of the fact that I get to watch this guy’s veins bulge out of his head when an ump tells him to sit his ass down another 10-15 times a season. To say Joe gets amped the fuck up is the understatement of the century. This man makes umpires reevaluate their lives when they toss him. The last one to do it quit his job and works in the perfume section at Macy’s now. Girardi never fails to amaze and tonight was no different. In the bottom of the 5th, following the sex panther that is pitching coach Larry Rothschild’s ejection, Joe came storming out barking at this umpire like he’s was the mailman delivering a jury duty notice. Thats when we sit back relax, and enjoy the program.
Oof, that’s what the boys back home call great content. As soon as Scott Barry gives the sassiest bitch ass toss I’ve ever had the misfortune of watching, Barkin Joe goes aaaaaape shit and I fuckin’ love it baby. Covering home plate with dirt is probably the biggest pet peeve you can throw onto the shoulders of an ump. Scotty B was definitley gripping his home plate brush so tight in his pocket when Girardi was making moves over there just saying in his head, “This motherfucker better not, HE BETTER NOT.” Oh Scotty boy, he did.
He should’ve known, you fuck with Larry Rothschild you get the bull and all makes and models of the horns. NO ONE fucks with Larry. Scott Barry’s no exception. Guy better sleep with his eyes peeled tonight, Girardi is coming for your home dish boss, he’s got mounds of sand and an aggressive attitude to go with it.