Hall of Fame Tweets: Inaugural Class

Ever since I joined Twitter in 2012, I’ve been hooked. I check it with a Cal Ripken jr. level of consistency every day. I’m the one constantly sending people tweets I think they might enjoy, and getting offended if they don’t at least give me the obligatory “lol.” I see hundreds of tweets every day, so I’ve probably seen at least a couple hundred thousand in my lifetime. However, there are still a few tweets that stand out.

That’s why I’ve decided to establish the Twitter Hall of Fame. I’m not inducting people, but rather individual tweets. This is our inaugural class, so it had to be exclusive. Baseball inducted legends like Babe Ruth and Walter Johnson in its first batch of Hall of Famers, I’m not gonna throw in any old slapdick tweet that made you chuckle one time. These are the cream of the crop, the best of the best. Here goes nothing.

Kehlani didn’t score 81

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Just a truly unbelievable response to a somewhat rational question. For context, the popular singer was taking some heat from NBA Twitter after it came to light she had cheated on Kyrie Irving. This woman posed the question of why people were being so tough on Kehlani, but still supported Kobe (RIP) after he cheated on his wife. The fact of the matter is that, unlike Kobe, Kehlani has never scored 81 points in a baketball game. A feat like that wipes away any wrongdoing, everyone knows that. Which made me think of a follow-up tweet that may someday get Twitter HOF consideration.

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the seahawks are the reason i’m balding

The Seahawks started getting good again around 2013. If you ask some of my friends, they’d aruge I started losing my hair around then too. Call me crazy, but I think there’s a correlation between the two. And you saw exactly why on Sunday night.

Their games in the Pete Carroll/Russell Wilson era are just balls of stress woven into an even bigger ball of stress. I can’t remember the last time they just blew out a team no problem. Hell, there’s points where I would even take a blowout loss. Let me enjoy my Sunday a little without feeling the need to write a blog at 1 AM.

More than ever, Seahawks need to ride on Russell Wilson's healthy shoulders  | The Seattle Times
Image via The Seattle Times

Obviously, this Sunday night’s game was no different. The game was absolute madness with the Seahawks going down 37-34 in an overtime loss to the Arizona Cardinals. It hurt, in more ways than one. First, it hurts the NFC West Standings. With the loss, the Seahawks stay in first place but the NFL’s best division is getting a whole lot tighter.

  1. Seahawks 5-1
  2. Cardinals 5-2
  3. Rams 4-2
  4. 49ers 4-3
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Zoey 101 coming back is the best news of 2020

Are you ready? (get it like the theme song!!) 2020 has been a complete shitstain of a year, but a Zoey 101 reunion could lead an Eli Manning in the Super Bowl-level comeback. It’s on my Mount Rushmore of TV shows from growing up, alongside Drake & Josh, Ned’s Declassified, and The Suite Life of Zack & Cody.

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MLB Rule changes: what stays & what goes?

The 2020 Major League Baseball season has been like no other – 60 games, no fans in the seats, 16 teams in the playoffs, and several other rule changes.  Though the bulk of these rule changes are temporary, the powers that be could ultimately decide to keep some of these rules for future seasons.  As a result, I would like to share my views of which rules I would like to keep and which I would like to toss.  I am going to list these in order from “most strongly want to keep” to “most strongly want to toss”.  Thus, without further ado, here are my thoughts.

MLB makes it official: The three-batter minimum rule is here
Picture via Yahoo! Sports
  1. If a reliever enters a game mid-inning, he must pitch to at least three batters or the end of the half-inning – DEFINITELY KEEP

OK, I know that MLB actually introduced this rule pre-Covid, but, since it officially debuted on the field in 2020, I am addressing it anyway.  Simply put, I love this rule.  I am a baseball purist, and most purists hate this rule.  However, the purist in me believes that starting pitchers should pitch until they are no longer effective, and relievers should do the same.  I do not love that the game has evolved to a point in which the standard is for teams to use six relievers per game.  Thus, I believe that anything that can trim that number is a good thing.  Plus, I think that relief pitchers are the biggest reason why games are longer than they were in previous generations.  Pitching changes lengthen games, and relievers tend to pitch at a slower pace than starters.  After all, starters want to find a rhythm, which is hard to accomplish at a slow pace (unless you are Steve Trachsel); whereas relievers pitch to so few batters that deliberation outweighs any need to find rhythm.  The 2020 “three-batter rule” does not address this second issue, but at least it does address the first in allowing for fewer pitching change.  I like this rule, even if it means an angry mob of situational lefties will be knocking down my door.  Sorry, Jerry Blevins.

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My Advice to Tatis, Jr.? Next Time, Swing Harder

If you’re wondering what every baseball fan on Twitter is talking about today, look no further than right here:

On Monday night, Fernando Tatis, Jr., hit a grand slam off Texas Rangers pitcher Ian Gibaut. The score was 10-3 in the top of the 8th. Doesn’t really seem like a big deal, right?

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An Outrageously Early Fantasy Football Mock Draft

Has this ever happened to you? You’re sitting at home, bored, watching an episode of your favorite TV show that you’ve already seen fourteen times this quarantine. And then you hear it…the word “snake”. By association, your dry sports mind jumps to “snake draft”, and then of course that takes you to fantasy football, and obviously that lands you at participating in a 12-team mock draft at 11:47 PM on a Sunday night in the middle of July.

Right?

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Okay, maybe this was particular to me, but the point is that I did a fantasy football mock draft and I think I can impart some wisdom. I was the 9th pick in a 12-team snake draft, and here were the results:

1. Nick Chubb (CLE – RB): I’m a big believer in needing two good running back in fantasy football, and that’s extraordinarily difficult to accomplish if you don’t get one in the first round. The teams ahead of me took wide receivers, so Chubb was the best available at the moment.

2. Chris Godwin (TB – WR): I’m actually surprised he made it this far into the draft. Godwin was one of the breakout stars of last year and that was with a pre-Lasik Jameis. I can only imagine what he’ll do with a quarterback that can see him. If he’s around in the second round, get him. He will be an elite #1 WR this year.

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Cashout King Strucks again

Everyone who likes gambling needs to give @Cashoutkingj a follow. This guy is an absolute pyscho. By far my favorite follow on twitter. He is always interacting and giving out portions of his winnings. He has been hot on golf lately too. The guy laid his nuts on the table and won big today. This is following after winning over 200k on Bryson last week & 80K on DJ two weeks ago. Lets see if Colin can keep it together and win even more for the king.

The NBA Bubble Food is Straight Out of Fyre Fest

While MLB was completely botching their negotiations for months, I kept thinking “man, I can’t believe the NBA got this figured out so quickly.” Turns out there are a couple kinks in their plan. I mean, how does a multi-billion dollar operation like the NBA serve that garbage to its players? I’m actually almost impressed at how disgusting that looks.

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How Many Masks Do I Have to Wear to Get Into Yankee Stadium?

On Wednesday, Governor Murphy just made it mandatory to wear a mask in outdoor spaces in New Jersey where social distancing isn’t possible. A lot of people lost their minds about it, but it honestly makes sense. If you find yourself in a big crowd, just throw one of those suckers on. No one’s asking you to wear one while you go for a run or eat dinner with your family.

As someone who is painfully addicted to Twitter and suffering from a lack of sports content, I’ve noticed every little thing become politicized the past four months. I guess that’s probably always happened to a degree, but I usually drown out any “real world stuff” on Twitter by debating how good Aaron Judge is with strangers and laughing at memes. But without sports, I find myself reading through threads where Earl from Louisiana (MAGA in bio) is arguing that masks violate his rights, while Becky from California (pronouns listed in bio) insists she won’t be coming out of her house until AT LEAST June of 2021.

But this is not a political blog. It’s Below the Belt SPORTS, after all. However, I do want to talk about those polarizing pieces of cloth. In New Jersey, masks are required in indoor public spaces, and outdoor spaces where distancing isn’t possible. Just one mask grants you entry to those areas. But if one mask makes it safe enough, why stop there? What about two masks? Or five? Even ten? I’m not a science guy, but that has to be safer, right?

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A Gambler’s Guide to the 2020 Workday Charity Open

The PGA Tour will be heading to Muirfield Village this weekend for the Workday Charity Open. This first time replacement tournament holds some value for long shot plays and multiple different first day matchups. From everything I have read and heard, this is a smaller course with slow greens, which evens the field for players that are inconsistent with their putters.

My Smart Bets

I have recently been doing very well gambling on golf. I have been reading articles from many respected golf analysts, bettors, and close friends to help me get an edge every week. My best bets have been coming on 3 Ball Matchups. Thursday provides many opportunities. I will be taking Justin Rose +150 to come out on top of Xander Schauffele and Billy Horschel. I think Rose is due for a hot start after missing the cut in his last played event. Xander has been playing well lately, but i think Rose is going to have the edge after a week off.

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Redefining Average Sports Blogging